TFIEG

we don’t talk just to hear ourselves, we talk


to hear ourselves – you can tell people what they want to hear


as long as you’re in love with the idea too. They will


believe you. Hey, that tree over there, that


tree over there did something miraculous & we both


missed it because we were talking. You walk up to the


tree & ask






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let’s not focus on what we shouldn’t be saying. Instead


let’s focus on how great this beer is &


how moderation is sexy. Dinosaur jokes never get old


because they were around way longer than man. There’re


conflicting wikis on this, but a very depressed pterodactyl


told the first knock-knock joke. It went like this






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no one ever said, “Jesus, a poem would be really good


right about now.” – mainly because the rules of dating


have changed a bit, and it’s possible to talk about


the transaction while the transaction is happening.


There’s faith in every gesture. Even running is faith-based.


I fall a little off my stool. Laugh. Lose my car. You like


that part, too. No one ever said, “That tree


would look much better on fire.” No one


ever said






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we listen to the tree, but it speaks tree language &


we have no idea what the fuck it’s saying. Things I don’t say:


Uday had a golden Kalashnikov. Uday fed women to feral dogs.


Uday electrocuted men’s testicles black. I wonder


more about the words between your words –


how your laugh-germ glees & subsides – how the


infectious stare leads me there






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there are nations where, in order to qualify for public


office, you have to be a proficient skeet shooter. I


am saving all my rainy day money to visit this country,


and I hope you will join me