Tuesday, December 30, 2014

WIN the entire audiobook series of So Say the Waiters


Want to win 24 hours of audiobooks? That's right, a whole damn day of books. All three So Say the Waiters audiobooks. All you have to do is post this link to Facebook: 

http://www.sosaythewaiters.com/p/audio.html

and email me to let me know you did it. Do this before January 15th and you'll be entered to win $60 worth of So Say the Waiters. Awesome, right?

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

a Serial set in Baltimore

Strangely enough, this Baltimore set serial was written a mile away from where Serial's story takes place. Episode one came out in September 2012. This serial doesn't have murder or drugs or anything that Baltimore is stereotypically known for. In fact, it celebrates Baltimore's art and music scenes as well as the 12 O'Clock Boyz, one of the city's wildest subcultures.

Get most of it for free here (eBook):

http://www.sosaythewaiters.com/

 

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

TICKLE TORTURE - Iraq constraint poem - 2005


Originally written and designed in 2005, this map of Iraq was an interactive prose poem. You could click on the provinces and a pop-up poem would be accompanied with the image below. Each province had a poem and an image. To make Tickle Torture complete, I used the name of the province as a constraint in the poems. Each word begins with the letters of the province's name and they repeat until the poem ends:

AL-ANBAR

"acrid legislation again nauseates bachelors and rabble-rousers across lands afar..." 
 
I wanted to juxtapose images of domesticity with the violent text to show America's apathy towards the human rights violations in Iraq. It was important that these photos mimicked the compositions of the photos that were taken at Abu Ghraib -- pig piles, horsing around, force feeding, and humiliation. Reading the poems now, they seem insane. But I think I was writing from an almost insane perspective. The Coalition was acting in such an inhuman way that I we, as a country, were collectively ill.

This was a year after the sieges of Fallujah which lead to me writing Falcons on the Floor and MLKNG SCKLS.




TICKLE TORTURE


overwhelmed by a powerful minority in AL-ANBAR

acrid legislation again nauseates bachelors and rabble-rousers across lands afar. Notice barbaric admirals racing aeronautics, launching able-bodied national boys afire, rocket adorned limbs acrobatic northward. Bartenders and repairmen lock and noggin before about-face registration after longsuffering abysmal nightshifts behind archenemy radars. All lame-duck ambassadors negotiate barbarically, abbreviated notations barking at radio announcers, legions anchored near broadcasting affiliates robbing all liberty. Answer no back and river a lie, auspicious Natalie books a room and lights another Newport, bathes and rests as lavender air necklaces ballroom audiences, roaring applause loosen ancient networks. Barely alive, republican and liberals astonish news barons and retired anchors



trounced by youths in BADILONIA

both adolescents darted in, lewd, ornery, naked in army blazers. Armed dandelions ill-treating landowners on night interrogation amiss bastardizing apes dillydallying inflated Legos, opening napes indulgent and bleeding. Anacondas dangle imps loincloth off nearly italicized anuses, bondages adhere dads insecure, leaning over negotiations illegal almost. Barnyard antics do ill, leave organs nearly iconoclastic and badly assaulted, damaged internally like open naves. I’ve analyzed brats after deathblows inserted lovingly on nude inmates, allowed bankrupt anecdotes dagger immunity, lancing opposition nebulas ideology agape. Both adulterated daughters incised letters over nibbled insurgent, abracadabra bad Aladdin, don’t imitate lessons observed. Natalie imitated a bastard and deliberately investigated lampshades, opened naked in armored burkas and didn’t initially let Orin know, implied allegiance, bagged a doozy immoral leech




BAGHDAD, a hotbed for bad guys

baby’s-breathe and gasoline have Dinar accelerating downward, bet all gamecocks helplessly. Doodle aggressive, dangerous bids against heehaw dolts avenging daddy. Begrudge acculturation, God head deities attack downtowns, bridges and grandiose hotels, decimate attractive districts, bombard ambassador’s gaudy harems. Deacon assigned, do bazooka anti-ballistic gallstones halfcocked, directed at dictators baroque and gangly, hanky-panky dudes across dudes, bodies abed gratuitous heads, diptychs as dialog bids “adieu good hero!” Deficits add defense bills and go headstrong, defiling Allah’s daughters, bellyaching annoyingly, “gosh her demeanor ain’t damsel”, boring and grouchy Heathers dodging able-bodied drafts because army galleons head death and dames belong at gated homelands



horseplay in a BASORA Howard Johnson

brawny armadas sashay over ranges and bound across sororities of rose-colored alley. Bloody alamedas surge onward, rouse amassments, boys aiming sabers, ordinary rebels aching beliefs among sisters. Orin ransacked abominable Baghdadians and suffocated opinions, rammed Adam’s beefcake apples, suppressed oral ritual aglow, battered accomplices (so oppressively) rightwing architects boasted alarm. Sorrowful Orin raucously acclaimed, “bastards, amoral Shiites, ostracized rebels all bow, acropolis surrenders, oxblood running aqueducts bleed as syrupy oxide!” Renegades always bounce at signs of retreat, a bomber attaches sizzling oysters, rifles at bureaucrats and storms orthodontists rented asylums, blast apart storefronts, offices, rheumatic apartment buildings. Apostils (so ornate) run away, Baghdad afire so Orin runs after, bayonets another soldier




unidentifiable bodies in DAHUK, stray dogs & no food

difficult axis, hidden underbelly kicked dirty angle, he urinated kazoos despite able husky urbane kidneys, drizzled almond hurl, upchucked knots dipped abnormal hunks. Understand, kids don’t allow humans ultimate kinetic damnation, adolescents hang unabashed killers, deglove appendages, husk up knickers dermis and heckle unsuspected kinder. Dastardly amateurs have unrestricted karate duels, dance around haggard urchins, knuckle down aggressive Hamas uprisings. Known deaths are hidden, umpteen Kremlins debunked and hurry-scurry kerosene dribbled Acura hollows urban Koran dormrooms. AWOL hushpuppies, unarmed knockabouts dissert armaments, happily underhand Kodak debauchery and howl “uncle!”



no hotel to be found in DI QAR

David initiated quiet air raids, deadeye Illinoisian quietly aiming remote darts into quads and rooftops, detonating improvised quakes around rotundas decamping immigrants. Quixotic avatars ramble delirious, imagine quarterbacks arriving, recruits dropped, impacted quadriceps aggravating rural dialects. Interrogating quasi aggressors, rough David implied questions about remote diplomats imitating queens as rouge disguises. Immingling quick arrows, red-blooded David issued quadruple artless roundhouses directly into quarantined Arabs, daylights irradiated quizzically. Ancient rituals do illustrate , quartered and rightly drawn impastos, quaff airy renditions, draft illegal quarrels and rites disrespected invade quant auditoriums, revengeful desert igloos quiver




discontent among the natives in DIYALA

does ibuprofen yield amulets, lackadaisical avocado drowsiness in you? Angry, lazy, and drug induced youths anonymously lambaste archaic democracy. Invalid yoyo attorneys lecture at disorderly, indignant youngsters. Affidavits lie and documents yammer autobiographical lechery as debaucheries yodel, “Allah, let all determined insurgents yap at Louisiana Argonauts, dismantle idealistic Yankees and leave administrations dumfounded. Ignore yesterday’s alert, lynch Americans and damn infidels!” Your Advil lasts all day, into yesteryears as lollipop amphetamine droop irises, yaw apertures larger awesome diameter. Invalid youths, arm-less and diseased, injured Yorker adapting loose appendages, drag itchy yards across long all-nighters drenched in yogurt adrenaline. Lounging anxious dudes, intestines yanked and limbs amputated, don’t interrupt you, artificial Lieutenants aikido downriver, incoherent yelping accent languages abolished




the wounded, IRBIL

intoxicated rebellious boys influence legions, infamous renegades boast inebriated lunacy in rundown bars. I’ve launched incontrollable ribald bursts immixing lampoons, ignorant ruses, balderdash into laugh infusible. Rehashed babble inspires little, irony recycled births insubordinate lords inserting religious beliefs into livers. Injured rangers bubble intestinal liquid, ink, red blood irrupting, leaks informative rumors, ballads inciting linguistic revolutions buried in litigation. Instruments rocket ballyhoo, inspectors lodge in rubble, buildings imploded like inverted raincoats, biographers italicizing liberal




no hallway is safe in KERBALA

kids experiment, ransack babes and love all Kirstens, Erins, Rachaels, Bonnys and Lauras. Anglo-Saxon khaki elites relish barbarically as lesser apes kneel execution ready, bowing at laughing aggressors kicking everyone’s rhubarb, balls and linear algebra. Know-it-alls exclaim, “rejoice boys, Apaches lynched and kvetching extremists run blindly, all lambkill accomplished, kennel each rebel, bastard and librarian!” Kids ecstasy, roll beans and lick acid, knock elixir rounds back as legacy alumni knuckle easel refined beverage artisans, liberals are knapped excessively, republicans bang at lady’s asses, knees, rib bones and lapels, arms kinking evangelists rant Babylonian attractions loudly and keynote excitedly. Ramadan brings awakened linguists ascending Koran eureka, robed Baath allies leaf almanacs, Kafka encrypted right-minded bugs allowing little autocracy



hungry hungry MAYSAN

men avoid you, staying away, never messaging, answering “yup”, sometimes a nonchalant, “mmm” and yesterday saying “ah, never mind” All yahoos, smug assholes, negative misogynists and yuppie sexists alamode nymphs, mayonnaise young silhouettes as night molts and yen strengthens. Absentminded nimrods militarize armored yearlings, students and new medics airlift yellowbellies, sew amber napes mortared after yesterday’s suicide attack. Nibbling man’s agenda yawns satiated and no mouth’s appetite yearns so anorexic, neurotically masticating alien yoke, swallowing applesauce, Nutella, mustard and yellow sauces, Asian nonfat marmalades, yummy sour Anhui nourishment, Mexican avocado yogurts, salsas and naranja margaritas. Appointed yokozunas swell as nations, malevolent and yanked segregated, applaud nomadic militants



happy to have you in AL-MUTANNA

anglophiles lollygag months, uncles toss away nanoseconds, nix and assassinate minutes until time nicknames nine-to-fivers and neurotic nickel-and-dimers, annually annihilating life’s most theological aspects. Nocturnal nationalists, anti academic leaders make uniforms tight around new Napoleon armies, a little man unifying theocracies. Aunts nurture nephews and administer love, mothers unflinchingly toil all night, never arguing about lending money. Underpaid techs abandon networks, news anchors (aplomb lecturers making uranium tattles) arrest nobodies, neutralize adolescents and laser mosques until towers affirm nuclear. Numbskulls autograph amendments loosely, make upheavals totally Alamo, netting nettlesome anarchists and lowbrow media universally to amplify nothing newsworthy. Appointees amputate liberal mouths, usurp teachers and nullify Nietzsche accolades




NAYAF, I saw you and you was I

neighbor aftermath, you all-out falling naked, arriving yellowy and fearing nucleuses. A yearbook autographed feverishly, names and youthful amendments feature nerds, athletes, yahoos and freaks nervously appeasing yuppie American figureheads. No-good arithmetic, you and favorites (necklaces and yarn) always failing notebooks, armoire years and filth novelty, atom yielding and fire noxious. All your afternoon friends napalmed, archways yoked and fortitudes nebbish after yea-sayer arm frigates, navy aircraft, yawning, “apprehend foreign nationals, artillery young arcade fire, now and years after freedom!” Necking, apprehensive youngsters applaud fighters, ninja appareled yowling antipersonnel, Fidel nameless and yes
 



NINIVE party

no, I’ve never invented villains, evildoers, nobody ignitable, neurosis institutional, veiled enemies negotiating injustices narcotic. I’ve violently emptied nines into neighbors, injured veneer executives, needled infections, nuked invalids vaulting excrement, neutralized intelligent neoconservative idiots voting excommunicative. Natalie interviewed nicotine insurgents voicing expressive nuisance, innocent nationals interpreting vesper eagles, nitrogen incumbents nonchalantly invoking volatile explosives. Natalie’s introspection never involved very elaborate notes, internal networks intervened verbatim executions, nihilistically inserted nickelodeon ignorance via electronic news
 



food fighting in AL-QADISIYAH

automatons love quaaludes and drug intoxicated soldiers, Icarus yokels arson hash and light quaffed aerosols dizzying inoculated sons. Ill-mannered Yankees appropriate homemade apparatuses, lick quality acid disguised in sculptured insignia. Yummy anniversaries, holidays about liberty, quaint ale dowsed inebriates squeal illiterate yaaahs and hurrahs at lily-livered Quebec. Atomic deserts implode states, injure young action heroes and liquefy quartz appendixes, decompose intestine, soften impregnable yacht aortas hiccupping acrid Listerine. Quiche (anthrax dusted in suitcases) infiltrates yet another homestead and lieutenants quagmire a desert in shambles




SALAH-AD-DIN, crawling with the appalling

sovereign alliances liquidate and hostile antiheros declare death. Inebriated national security ack-ack long-range as happy adversaries detain delirious infidels, notorious sheriffs and locust ameba. Hallelujah and dusted disease, infants neck soothing at lounging apron handlers and dribble drool, inking nasty snot and loogies at headmistresses. Assassin dwarfs, dainty in navy suits, assault lips and heads, avenge dad, dig inside nose sulfur and livers. Angled henchmen arrive, delivering documents into Natalie’s suitcase and leather attaché, hearsay aluminum diskettes declassifying internal nodes so alleged. Leaked attachments headline all day, developed infectious negatives sail across lagoons, assailing horizons and Demerol democracy in newsstands satiated.
 


forced to feed in SULEYMANIYA

stateside universities lament, educated youths mobilize and network, initiating yes action, solidarity understanding, liberating everyone yawning motionless and napping. Institutional yolk and saucy urban language exclaim yards, miles and nations in yellowing anguish, swollen ulcer lips eat yogurt militarism and nude interrogation, yelping agents suture ultraviolent lashes every yonder Monday and night. Intestinal yarn and stomachs upchuck empanada yoyos, meaty albatross, narratives inside your appendix solidify, urns leak enslaved year memory. Aggravated Natalie immigrated yesterday and sat unfazed, left exercising yoga methods and nice insurance, yerba antidotes, safe utopian lodges, elite yachts, majesty and notoriety. Incubating Yankee armaments safely umbrella literary embedded younkers, maids and newsy interviewers yap apprehensively. She uses less, eventually yashmak masked and nightly incognito, yowling at soldier’s uniforms leaking extremist yuck




open AT-TAMIM

autoclaved teeth touch aluminum metal, incisors meet and tin topples atmospheric monuments in memoriam, abominable totems tremble as men ignite mortars at them, trashing and maiming iconography. Media archetypes tell tall apocalyptic misleading information, morbid accounts tickle torture audiences mesmerized in motels, apartments, twixt towers and mansions. In-between mouths, air transmits tabloid atrocities, message instant memos across talky telephones and mimeographing internets mail attachments that tantrum adult men in Maine and Tennessee, Texas and Massachusetts. Inert maws anoint tongues tapping at mammary italics, malleable amorphous teats, touching and massaging intelligent minds as theories terminate and mingle idealistic meat and tofu




just a taste in WASIT

white and satiated imperial teens, washed-up abolitionist savages imitate totally wasted animatronic soldiers, it’s their whatever attitudes soaked in Tylenol water and sashaying ideology that wanes Arab salutation. Information tasting watchdogs attack sitting inmates, tare wall-to-wall arm sockets, incapacitate tendons wiggling apart, snapping innards, taunting warlords and suiciders. Immigrants trade wampum and swap indigenous tales, waist armed saints ignite TNT widows and strap imploding totes while atoms sail into train wharfs and slam inside transit ways. Autos swerve, idling towards workplaces and subway inmates, tunnels wigwag and shutdown into twilight walking and suits imitate tourists, wordless and speech insipid